Sunday, January 17, 2010

she fell in love in the first place

eighth grade and the subsequent freshman year of high school was a time of transition for me. it was a time when i started to develop strong opinions on love and loyalty. it was a time of new experiences and the beginnings of my ambition of making a difference in the world. but it was also at this time that i believe i lost of my wide eyed optimism and started wondering about the world around me outside of my sheltered little bubble.

so, during this time, it was almost no wonder that the following song resonated with me completely. in 1997, the verve pipe came out with their one hit wonder single called "The Freshmen". you can listen to the song here.



here are the lyrics:

When I was young I knew everything
She, a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt stricken, sobbing with my head on the floor
Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice now

I can't be held responsible
Cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me
I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me
I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her
His girl took a weeks' worth of Valium and slept
Now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really wept he says

I can't be held responsible
Cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me
I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me
I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

We've tried to wash our hands of all this
We never talk of our lacking relationships
And how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say

I can't be held responsible
Cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me
I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me
I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen



at the time when i listened to the song, i wasn't completely aware of the sexual implications embedded in the song. i could however definitely connect with the song's central message of regret, that the illusion of invincibility that comes with youth can blind us from the consequences of our actions. i fell in love with the idea of their repentance and their acknowledgement that innocence isn't something that can be renewed without a price.

i suppose this one of the first songs that i came across that made me more conscious of meaning and emotion in music and perhaps started my interest in music outside of my exposure as a classical musician. i wouldn't say that this song singularly sparked my interest in alternative rock and becoming a rocker (which i still want to do, secretly [or not so secretly, now]), but i just remember loving the raw emotion you can feel at the end of the song during the last chorus.

looking back, i still think this song rocks, now even more so realizing the themes of abortion/suicide/drug use and how that ties into the mistakes they made as foolish young kids. it's something that i think everyone can connect with, how simple mistakes you make in life can spiral into a catastrophe. i do feel that the song is somewhat less validated because the artists are pretty much only known for this one piece (i tend to also look at songs compared to an artists entire body of work), but i think any piece of art that has a powerful message is worthwhile.

No comments: