Monday, June 21, 2010

tom wang to the rescue

*edit*

Tom: like how
i'm your poker playing friend
and not soulmate :(

*end edit*


so my poker playing friend tom shared with me a story of great mirth and enjoyment. a bit of background info before you read the convo for some clarification.

i went to atlantic city with tom and his friends danny and perry because tom's friend jeff had a room comped at the borgata water club. now danny, tom and i played the same kind of games and stakes, but perry was a younger kid who was also a busto newb who wasn't very good at poker and kind of just tagged along for the ride. in fact, i felt kind of bad because it was more like me danny and tom were living it up talking to each other while he was kind of in the background. i mean he was the annoying guy that you didn't really want around but tom felt bad for the kid so he let him come. i was not very happy about that, as i understood it to be a degen bro's weekend out, and he would really cramp our style.

anywho, there was a funny moment when i got out of the car to go home, perry said, "nice to meet you!" and i slammed the door in his face. i didn't hear him of course (i'm not that mean), but it was funny nonetheless.

so as i mentioned, perry isn't really that good at poker, so we sometimes have some fun at his expense (juvenile i know, but apparently i'm a 26 year old kid). we call him perryfan, perryville, perryellis, all sorts of gak and sometimes watch him play to see the ridiculous plays he makes. i mean, tom tries to help him of course, but the kid just doesn't have the stuff.

so, knowing this i present to you the story that made my day. it's probably not going to be .1% as funny as i found it to the average person, but i wanted to etch it into a blog so i have a memory of it forever.



Tom: like how
did i tell u

Me: like how
what

Tom: me and dannyboy

Me: did you tell me

Tom: were at cg's

[cg is Tom's friend, Jeff. cg means cool guy. something they sarcastically call each other]

Me: ?

Tom: railing your boy
perryfan
and randomly

[railing means, watching someone play poker. your boy is an expression we use to just indicate that that person has a connection with you, whether positive or negative. perryfan is a nickname that originates from another poker player we poke fun at who's name is terry fan.]

Me: LOLOLOOOO

Tom: we pulled up a few of his tables

[they were watching online]

Me: lol

Tom: insta-losing stacks like it's going out of style

Me: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHHHAAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Tom: and then this hand happened

Me: OMG
I AM
ACTUALLY
LOLLING

Tom: lol lt
wait till i get
to the punchline
lt
so as usual
perry 3b some donk's open

[open means entering a hand by raising the bet]

from 3 to 13
donk opened utg, perry was bb

[bad player was first to act, perry was in the big blind]

Me: hahahahahhaahahhaah
k

Tom: they were 170bb deep or so
100NL

[this means they were playing .5/1 no limit hold em, with stacks $170 deep]

Me: k

Tom: flop AQ8ss
perryville c-bets like 17

Me: O
LOL
k

Tom: donk raises to 45 or some gak
perryfan tanks
and we were all speculating
like oh boy

Me: LOL

Tom: he [Perry] doesn't like to fold

Me: HAAHAHAHHAAHHAAHHAHA

Tom: he's about to ship it in there

Me: LOOOOOLLOOOOOL
OMG I WISH IWAS THERE

Tom: and get snapped by donk's AQ/AA/QQ

[snapped means get called really quickly]

Me: hahhahaahahhaahhaha

Tom: anyway

Me: I AM
ROLLING
ON MY BED
LAHGING
IN ANTICIPATION
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Tom: sure enough after a like 30 seconds in the fishtank

[Perry does not act for 30 seconds, "thinking"]

he rips it in there
fish predictably
snap calls
and the cards are hidden
until showdown
so we have no idea
what either of htese gaks have
we just think it's perry with AK or some gak
and donk has AQ or the like
turn comes a Ks
we were oohhhing and ahhhhing
at the possibilities
river was a 4s
so final board was
AsQs8xKs4s



Me: OL
LOL
man
this
could
be
hilarious

[the reason i was in anticipation after this board was because there were four spades on board, meaning any one with the highest spade would win the pot, resulting in what was a probable crappy hand beating a good made hand]

Tom: and perry is to th eleft
so we're all kind of quiet in anticipation
of what is going on

Me: HAHAHHAHAH
like quiet gaks

Tom: i look at perry's hand first
AA
wowowow

[Perry had the best possible hand on the flop]

Me:
HAHHAAHHAAHAHHAAHHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHA

Tom: and then i look over at donk's hand
and ur not going to believe it
7s8h

[the fish put in a lot of money with a terrible hand when it was extremely obvious he would be probably drawing close to dead, but won the hand because of a miraculous outcome]

ASD;FLKAJS;FLKASJSLAKJ

Me: HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAAHHAHAH
AHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHA

Tom: we literally

Me: HAHHAAHAHLAOOHAOHAOHAOHAOHAOHOHAOOLOOAHOL

Tom: could not
breathe
for 10 minutes
i was for real

Me: IA
AM

Tom: rofling'

Me: AM
OMG

Tom: in cg's room

Me: OMG\
OMFG
SADOGKASFOAKSDFOASDGKOASBKASDFOKf

Tom: danny snap jumped onto cg's bed

Me: HAHAHAHHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHA

Tom: and coudln't breathe

Me: HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH
I CAN't
OGM

Tom: we coined the term

Me: OMG
OMG
IC An'T'

Tom: "ROBL"

Me: I CAN'T
I CAN'TAWEG[ADSFKA

Tom:
andrew robling

Me: LOOLLOOOOOOOOOOOOL
HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA
IMAGINE
THE TIT

Tom: =rolling on bed laughing

Me: TILT
TILT
OAWEHKAORGKASPDFKASDOFPKAS
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
OMGO
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Tom: seirosly

Me: DID HE TAKE HIS MRI

Tom: i wish you were there

Me: EXAMINATION
HAHHAHAHHAHAA

Tom: it was so epic

Me: OMG IF I WAS THERE
SOMEONE'S HOUSE
WOULD'VE ASPLODED
HAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Tom: and then we basically did not stop laughing about it for 20 minutes
nonstop

Me: HAHHAHAHAOOOOHAOHLLLLLLLLLL
20 MINUTES

Tom: like WTF ZOMG

Me: MORE LIKE ETERNITY
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Tom: in between wheezes

Me: DID PERRYVILLE CHAT

Tom: danny was like spurting out

Me: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Tom: RAISE/CALL 170 BB WITH BOTTOM PAIR
WTF HAHAHAHA

Me: HAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Tom: IS HE FUCKING MRI

Me: HAHAHHAAHHAHAAHHHAHAHAHAAHHAHA
LLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Tom: oh my god
and then cg for some reason types in the chat
and outs us for being heckling railbirds

Me: HAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Tom: like, danny and tom were just now literally laughing on my floor

Tom: oh believe me
it was fucking epic

Me: HAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA
FRODO BAGGINS EPIC
FBE

Tom: ahahhaha

Me: HAHHAAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Tom: it was funnier because
we were just randomly pulling up his tables
and we happeend to catch that gem






ah, scheudenfreude.

5 comments:

badbanana07 said...

like how nobody else is probably going to find this funny or even understand the situation to the fullest, but i'm still glad you blogged about it for keepsake.

Doug said...

like how i love you

sammyvicious said...

cant believe i took the time to read this gak. i might have to unsubscribe from you.

danlim87 said...

like how you guys are lovers.

like how i laughed uncontrollably then when it happened.

like how i am laughing uncontrollably now reading this post.

like how ltltltltlt

badbanana07 said...

like how i just re-read this gem and laughed uncontrollably reliving the absurdity/hilarity of the situation. i'm glad you've immortalized it in your blog so i can always revisit.