Monday, December 6, 2010

knowing thyself

i'm always refining my image of myself, trying to become as self aware as possible in all contexts and circumstances.  fortunately, i have met good people to reveal to me aspects of character flaws and that ask me questions that make me constantly question why i do the things i do and about the events that have shaped me up to this point.

recently, i figured out a few things about myself:

a) what drives me (hint: i'm definitely not a "like me", that's for sure)
b) my self-consciousness when it comes to my self-consciousness
c) having a holden caulfield-complex

unfortunately, just knowing things about yourself isn't simply enough to shut it on or off.  character development is painful, and requires a lot of blood, sweat, and tears.  and sometimes it's hard to continually get up and believe that process is worth it, or that at some subconscious level, you want to hold onto those aspects of yourself.  i guess that requires a certain measure of faith.

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