Tuesday, December 28, 2010

stepping stones

some truths i've been wrestling with recently from countless late night conversations:

- we are all inherently unlovable people.  we are flawed.  love for one another, in its purest, unadulterated form, cannot exist with simple human capacity.

- a lot of relationships are temporary.  and as much as i want to hold on to them, stop time and freeze moments, and life to remain the same as it was, i cannot keep savoring pockets of time over and over again.  versions of ourselves are never constant; people are changing continually.  memories conjure up idealized visions of a person, when in fact those memories are merely fantasies.  but that idea of a person, that VERSION of a person, is gone forever.  

- thereby, relationships that end but result in formative periods of life are not a waste of time.  they are not a waste of time.  not. a. waste. of. time.

- we do not have the capacity for redemption of any sort of regret or mistake that we have made.  there is nothing we can "fix" by overcompensating.

- guster is a very emo band.  (ok maybe that's not really being wrestled with)


unfortunately, intellectually understanding these truths doesn't equate to successful emotionally grappling with them.

3 comments:

Sam said...

http://www.reformationtheology.com/2006/06/thoughts_on_spiritual_depressi.php

Interesting, that the author's thinking is that depression comes from a true realization of the reality and depravity of the world around us.

"It is my conviction that depression usually arises from a perception of the world (as it is apart from Christ) which is more honest and accurate than that of the average person."

Not that this is completely for you, but those thoughts seem pretty sad to me.

lt? lolololol.

Doug said...

kinda do lt, actually.

chunlee17 said...
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