i remember the day. friday. thank god it's friday, huh? i guess.
it was cloudy. rainy. coming back to nyc. images of the lincoln tunnel and the subsequent 30s street exit signs come to mind.
i was in a black car. a car service that takes you from the airport to the city. probably expensive, maybe like 150 bucks or so. it was ok, i didn't have to pay for it. it was nice tho. leather seats. comfy. rain droplets building up slowly on the windows. a darkening afternoon. i'd like to say there was a cool sunset like streak in the sky somewhere, but the truth is it was probably mostly a mundane boring greyish color.
i held my cellphone. waiting. wondering. wondering when the call would come. gripping it, flipping it open and close a few times, as if that would bring it to life somehow. as if it would summon that call to come.
it didn't. i knew it wouldn't. i knew it wasn't coming.
things were different.
but i had to put on a happy face for the rest of the day. pretend i was strong.
mask my disappointment.
forget my acknowledgement of transition. change.
it was over.
this was the beginning of acceptance.
i couldn't wait for the day to be over.