Wednesday, February 2, 2011


sometimes i wish i had remained the coward that i was in my youth.  things seem like they would have been easier then.  the biases that form once you get cut so deeply by a situation where you expose yourself become so strongly etched in your identity, that it's hard to shake them off the next time you need to try again.

but then i remember that those wounds remind me of how deeply i do feel things, and how i don't ever want to get to the point where i am stoic about life.  i want to keep hungering, and longing, and searching, and not ever give up on life, never quitting, never admitting defeat, never settling.

it is also in those moments that i remember that the memories of my past have been the reason i was able to build up the courage that i have now.

"hope remains, while the company is true." - galadriel, lady of lothlorien

It hurts just to wake up
Whenever you're wearing thin
Alone on the outside
So tired of looking in

The end is uncertain
And I've never been so afraid
But I don't need a telescope
To see that there's hope
And that makes me feel brave

-owl city

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